My late father, an astute observer of the pugilistic arts, often told me that "A good small man can't beat an equally good big man."
Despite Dad's unassailable opinions there are exceptions to every rule, such as if a small man sneaks up on a big man and hits him in the back of the head with a two-by-four. In that case, the small guy wins.
Similarly, a favorite tactic of a small man fighting a bigger man is to rush the big guy and launch salvo after salvo of punches – and kicks if it is a martial arts competition – that keep the big guy off balance long enough for the small man to get in a shot that brings the big man down. That tactic can work so long as the big guy doesn't respond with a teeth-jarring shot of his own that stops the small guy in his tracks.
This scenario is playing out on a daily basis in the ongoing Presidential campaign with President Barack Hussein Obama using the gutter tactics advocated by his former chief of staff and now mayor of Chicago Rahm Emanuel, while Mitt Romney tries to be fair - the good big guy. The mayor, who is alleged to be co-chairman of the Obama reelection campaign from his base in Chicago while ignoring the needs of the city, has a reputation as being a street-wise tough guy, an image he loves to cultivate. Frankly, I have my doubts.
First, although Emanuel was elected to Congress from Illinois, he earned his "street creds" inside the DC Beltway, where "men" openly refer to themselves as "metrosexual" whatever the hell that means, and brag about their ability to withstand pain if they don't yelp when their manicurist sticks them in the cuticle. A tough-guy rep built under those circumstances doesn't play out very well on Soldier Field or the mean streets of a big city, as Emanuel himself showed us just last week.
Chicago is a city under siege from gang warfare and yet Emanuel's response was to disband the police department's gang task force in favor of beefing up neighborhood patrols. Oh, and Emanuel had a strongly worded message for the gang bangers engaging in drive-by shootings. "Don't shoot near the children."
Seriously. He told the Chicago gangsters to shoot each other in places where there were no innocent children playing so only the targets of the gansta' bullets would be hit.
Not "Get the hell off my street." Not "Get the hell off my block." Not, "Get the hell out of my city or I'll see every damn one of you punks in jail by the end of my first year in office." Nope, Mr. Tough Guy responds to a level of violence not seen since the days of Al Capone and the St. Valentine's Day Massacre by telling the gangs to shoot each other only on DDS's – Designated Drive-by Streets.
What's next, a family circle meeting? "Now I thought we discussed this at the City Council and your lawyers said you'd abide by our common position. I hope I don't have to cut back on your food stamps. And while we're at it, I am adamant that you clean up your spent shells after your firefights, and if possible I'd prefer you use ammo that won't penetrate body armor when shooting at our police."
Maybe he can call in the SEIU to clean up Chicago's gang problem.
Nonetheless, Emanuel apparently has been around real tough guys long enough to pick up some of their tactics and lingo, and it is obvious that he is using the classic small guy attacks on Romney to keep Romney off guard and on the defense in hopes of scoring a few hits that will wear Romney down.
Still, if you apply my father's rationale to the presidential campaign, Romney does have plenty of options. One such option would be the classic one-two; a powerful straight-in left jab to the solar plexus followed by a massive body blow, a right hook to the lower ribs.
I'm speaking figuratively here, by the way. I am not advocating that Romney or members of his campaign staff hit Emanuel. Really.
The shot to the solar plexus immediately shoots excruciating pain throughout the body, causing an involuntary reflex including holding one's breath, that then makes the ribs a tempting target because they temporarily lose their flexibility and either break outright or at least will be seriously bruised when hit by the right hook. You keep this up at regular intervals and around the third or fourth hit the ribs will break and by that time your opponent is flinching every time you even look like you're going launch a body shot.
Then, in mid-October you do it one more time; a straight powerful jab to the solar plexus, followed by a crasheous right hook. This time you'll notice that your opponent automatically drops his elbow to protect his broken ribs and you take that opportunity to bring your hook up and hit him right on the jaw, so hard that his head spins nearly off his neck and he ends up looking out his own ear hole, as John Madden used to say.
Now, as I pointed out above, we are talking figuratively here. So, figuratively, in a political campaign what would constitute a good, solid, pain-inducing jab to the solar plexus?
Well, the Romney campaign could have one of the GOP Super PACs do a commercial questioning Obama's real relationship with urban terrorist Bill Ayers and his wife Bernadine Dohrn, formerly of the Weather Underground.
Barack Obama friend Bill Ayers after becoming a respected member of the Chicago Democratic establishment.
That was the anti-government gang that built bombs and blew up people – including their friends - and buildings to protest killing and violence back in the 70s.
Ayers and Dohrn went underground to avoid prosecution and when they resurfaced they managed to avoid serious jail time or civil punishment. Then they went on to become respected members of the establishment they once claimed to hate, living in upper-crust neighborhoods and counting among their friends Michelle and Barack Hussein Obama.
Internet sites say that the Obama's became friends with Ayers and Dohrn well after the days of the Weather Underground were behind them, but who knows? There is so much mystery surrounding Obama's early years that we can't say for certain that he wasn't in on their terrorist activities - perhaps just tacitly - but who knows?
That would work very well as a jab to the solar plexus and it could very easily be followed by other ads with photos of the President in his younger, pot-smoking days, with questions about whether his brain has suffered permanent damage.
This is only a cigarette, according to the Internet.
I mean, the guy's questions about Romney's days at Bain Capital show that Obama just can't wrap his mind around business activities at all, so why not raise that question along with photos and statements from his pothead friends?
That should give us a good template from which to work effectively. The alternative, as I have written before is to try and play by the Marquis of Queensbury rules, which in this type of fight can have only one outcome: the Big Guy will be on the ground the day after Election Day, writhing in pain and moaning "You fight dirty."
Above him, Barack Hussein Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, will be laughing derisively and responding, "Yeah, I do. And I won."
And in that case Mr. Governor, American will truly be doomed.
Monday, July 16, 2012