Monday, July 02, 2007

Whack a Terrorist! Win a Trip to Scotland! Break Out the Glen Morangie

Did you see on the news that when one of the two Islamo-fascists who rammed a burning vehicle into Glasgow International Airport this weekend was struggling with Scottish cops, a Scotsman observing the melee ended it all with a well-placed punch to the terrorist's face, leveling the cretin and enabling police to complete the arrest?

Talk about putting political correctness in its place! I say well done cousin and tonight I'll break out a wee dram of Glen Morangie and toast your courage and style. I bet the guy is a highlander.

Just goes to show you, England may have forced most of the Scots out of Scotland in the Highland Clearances, but they didn't squeeze the essence of independence and direct action out of those who stayed. Personally, I believe that a lot more direct action, and a lot less of this tiptoeing around the 'rights' of psychotic morons who think that blowing themselves to bits is the true path to paradise, would go a long way to helping these misguided unfortunates rethink their priorities.

Did you notice, by the way, that no one in London is getting in Scotland Yard's face complaining about the treatment of the half-dozen or so suspects who have been arrested in the weekend's three attempted attacks? Scotland Yard, England's in-house crime fighters similar to America's FBI, has decades of experience fighting guerrilla style terrorism through its battles with the Irish Republican Army, and seems to have gained inordinate amounts of information on the attacks and who was behind them in a matter of only hours.

I bet the British anti-terrorism forces sat the suspected terrorists down and offered them tea and cakes and a quiet, heartfelt discussion on the error of their ways. Then the suspects saw the light, renounced violence, and pointed the Brits to treasure troves of intelligence. I bet.

Considering that the Brits, and in many ways, most of Europe, have been bending over backwards to accommodate the Muslim religion and its practitioners who claim to be spreading only peace and understanding, what exactly was the rationale for the attempted bombings in London and Glasgow this weekend? Further, considering that Scotland is working its way toward independence for the first time since the Acts of Union in 1707, and thus could reasonably be considered separate from England, much as Ireland is really separate from England, why have the terrorists declared war on the Scots?

If they want to punish England for supporting us in Iraq, I guess it would make sense from their point of view to attack England. But Glasgow Airport? I've been to Glasgow Airport when I visited Scotland a few years back to look up some cousins and find the place where my father was born. I spent half a day in Glasgow Airport waiting for my son's flight to come in.

What a friendly place! It was nice there, the people were helpful, they even suggested a spot where I could take a rental car and practice driving on the 'other' side of the road. Why would you bomb Glasgow Airport?

This just goes to show the random hatred that is part of the terrorist mentality. Other than getting on TV, which frankly, has gotten quite old from a shock and awe standpoint, considering what we see coming out of Iraq every day, there doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason for that attack. All the yahoos got were some film clips of a burning automobile that charred a very small part of one building.

They didn't get to commit suicide in the name of Allah - what do you think is going to happen to these suicide bombers when they face the ultimate judgment and Allah says he never told anyone to squander their human existence in his name? - and they didn't even make much of a splash.

One guy is in prison with extensive burns and a busted up face, the other is having tea and crumpets with Scotland Yard, and a whole bunch of their associates are cowering under the cellar stairs knowing that they are only moments away from a visit by the local constabulary. They came across as murderous, insane swine to the rest of the world, with a sacrilegious disregard for Allah's creations.

Boy, that is sure going to get a whole bunch more people lined up to follow that example! Wish I'd thought of that!

I did come up with a good idea on how we can transmit Scottish values to the rest of the world, especially those values that deal with smashing a terrorist in the face. Scotland is working its way toward Independence, and if and when they achieve it, the Scots will require some independent sources of national income. (They pretty much got screwed out of North Sea oil revenues, so they need something else.)

I suggest that we develop a new television game show, based on American Idol, but have it hosted in Glasgow, Edinburgh, Dundee, Aberdeen, Perth, Inverness, St. Andrews, or some of the smaller Scottish communities in a rotation basis.

We'll call it Smack The Terrorist, kind of like the Smack the Mole game where a subterranean mammal pops up out of random holes and you have to smack it to get points. Except in this case, the game will require contestants to sift through a stack of clues in one hour, and in that time identify and apprehend a real terrorist.

Those that compete successfully get to go on to the next week, until the Grand Finale. If they win and become the Scottish Terrorist Smacker, they are given one year to host parties and events celebrating Scottish history and culture, which will be attended by celebrities, movie stars and millions of tourists from all over the world. The position will carry prestige, a substantial salary, and best of all will attract hordes of tourists and the dollars they so willingly part with when on vacation.

Here's the best part. Each week there will be an even number of contestants and terrorists, with the latter plucked from combat in Iraq, Afghanistan or other terrorism havens.

The ones who are identified and apprehended by the contestants will be returned to Scotland Yard for indefinite periods of conversation, tea and pork pies. They ones who aren't identified by the contestants will be let go - right into a stadium packed with European soccer fans.

The soccer fans can only be from clubs that are having a losing season. And for several hours prior to the end of each Smack The Terrorist show, the soccer fans will be treated to unlimited quantities of free beer, and shown repeated videos of referees making horribly blown calls against their favorite teams.

All the while, the audio portion will link terrorist organizations to the offending referees. Then, when the unidentified terrorists are let loose after the show, the announcer will intone "You've seen them on television, you've seen the work they do behind the scenes in World Cup Soccer, and NOW, representing Al Qaeda, and the worst soccer referees in the world this season, this week's unapprehended terrorist ..." and out he comes.

The resulting carnage will be filmed for later release on Pay Per View satellite television, with proceeds going to improve the Scottish Internet and business facilities. I tell you, marketing in the Internet age is opening up vast new opportunities.

4 comments:

Dinah Lord said...

We're all Scottish tonight...

Unfortunately, we're not all drinking the Glen Morangie.

Still and all - Cheers!

Enjoyed the post and I would love to win a trip to Scotland to whack a terrorist.

Where do I sign?

Dinah

Pam said...

Aye, an' it makes me proud o' my ancestors. Clan McKinnon!

I'll sign up for that, too!

David M said...

Trackbacked by The Thunder Run - Web Reconnaissance for 07/03/2007
A short recon of what’s out there that might draw your attention, updated throughout the day...so check back often.

CARL McKENZIE said...

WELL-SAID, RON! I WOULDS LIKE TO SIGN UP TO WHACK A FEW MESELF. BUT I AM 79 YEARS YOUNG NOW. CAN I JUST WASTE THE BASTARDS WITH A 50-CAL GREASE GUN INSTEAD?
MAC

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