There is a lot of discussion on the news today over whether anyone will be watching President Barack Hussein Obama's speech on his "new" jobs program tonight, since it will only be late afternoon on the west coast and during the pre-game warmup slot for football fans on the east coast.
I think that in the interest of non-partisan involvement in government and learning all we can about the issues that will face us in the presidential election of 2012, I should put significant effort into convincing people to watch the speech.
So, at the urging of, and in conjunction with my son, we are debuting the Presidential Drunk With Power drinking game to be played during Obama's speech tonight and at any other appropriate time.
Note to persons with substance abuse issues: don't go any further if this will offend you. I mean you no harm, but life does go on.
Here's how you play. Get a case of beer, more if you have an opponent on scene with you. Get yourself a fifth of good whiskey if you like American spirits, or whisky if you like Scotch or Canadian brands. You can substitute here with vodka, rum, tequila or similar distillations, but no liqueurs.
Place the booze within arms reach in the room where your television or radio is located. Keep the beer iced, get shot glasses for the liquor.
Turn on the television or radio at the appointed hour depending on the time zone where you live.
These are the rules:
Every time that President Obama says the word "infrastructure" you drink a shot, and a gulp of beer.
When he says "investment" your opponent takes a shot and a beer. (If you can't do this in person get an Internet buddy and use your videocam to keep an eye on each other.)
Every time Obama blames the process - as in "Congress must" or "the political parties must" - take another shot and finish the beer.
When Obama blames someone else for the current state of affairs, your opponent takes a shot and finishes his or her beer.
If Obama says he "inherited" this mess, take a double shot and chase it with a full beer.
If Obama claims some form of administrative victory, regardless of how small or picayune, your opponent takes a double shot and a full beer as a chaser.
When Obama says "Clean, renewable or green" both of you take a double shot and shotgun another beer.
Every time Obama changes his gaze from the right teleprompter to the left or vice versa, attempting to look presidential and convey a sense of urgency, as if he suddenly realized his job is at stake, take several gulps of beer and shake your head in amazement.
Keep this up for as long as he speaks or you can understand what he is saying. The last one standing and still coherent wins, if that is possible.
Oh, one last rule. If Obama says directly, or intimates, that "This is Bush's fault" you both must take four shots in a row followed immediately by two beers. This is different than, and probably an expansion of, the rule on the word inherit.
So that's it. Better than just about anything else you might be doing tonight and it will make all the political posturing palatable. Good luck.
p.s. Don't drive after playing this game, and expect to wake up tomorrow feeling terrible and wondering what just happened. Pretty much the way America has been feeling for nearly three years now.
Thursday, September 08, 2011