My late father, an astute observer of the pugilistic arts, often told me that "A good small man can't beat an equally good big man."

Despite Dad's unassailable opinions there are exceptions to every rule, such as if a small man sneaks up on a big man and hits him in the back of the head with a two-by-four. In that case, the small guy wins.

Similarly, a favorite tactic of a small man fighting a bigger man is to rush the big guy and launch salvo after salvo of punches – and kicks if it is a martial arts competition – that keep the big guy off balance long enough for the small man to get in a shot that brings the big man down. That tactic can work so long as the big guy doesn't respond with a teeth-jarring shot of his own that stops the small guy in his tracks.

This scenario is playing out on a daily basis in the ongoing Presidential campaign with President Barack Hussein Obama using the gutter tactics advocated by his former chief of staff and now mayor of Chicago Rahm Emanuel, while Mitt Romney tries to be fair - the good big guy. The mayor, who is alleged to be co-chairman of the Obama reelection campaign from his base in Chicago while ignoring the needs of the city, has a reputation as being a street-wise tough guy, an image he loves to cultivate. Frankly, I have my doubts.

First, although Emanuel was elected to Congress from Illinois, he earned his "street creds" inside the DC Beltway, where "men" openly refer to themselves as "metrosexual" whatever the hell that means, and brag about their ability to withstand pain if they don't yelp when their manicurist sticks them in the cuticle. A tough-guy rep built under those circumstances doesn't play out very well on Soldier Field or the mean streets of a big city, as Emanuel himself showed us just last week.

Chicago is a city under siege from gang warfare and yet Emanuel's response was to disband the police department's gang task force in favor of beefing up neighborhood patrols. Oh, and Emanuel had a strongly worded message for the gang bangers engaging in drive-by shootings. "Don't shoot near the children."

Seriously. He told the Chicago gangsters to shoot each other in places where there were no innocent children playing so only the targets of the gansta' bullets would be hit.

Not "Get the hell off my street." Not "Get the hell off my block." Not, "Get the hell out of my city or I'll see every damn one of you punks in jail by the end of my first year in office." Nope, Mr. Tough Guy responds to a level of violence not seen since the days of Al Capone and the St. Valentine's Day Massacre by telling the gangs to shoot each other only on DDS's – Designated Drive-by Streets.

What's next, a family circle meeting? "Now I thought we discussed this at the City Council and your lawyers said you'd abide by our common position. I hope I don't have to cut back on your food stamps. And while we're at it, I am adamant that you clean up your spent shells after your firefights, and if possible I'd prefer you use ammo that won't penetrate body armor when shooting at our police."

Maybe he can call in the SEIU to clean up Chicago's gang problem.

Nonetheless, Emanuel apparently has been around real tough guys long enough to pick up some of their tactics and lingo, and it is obvious that he is using the classic small guy attacks on Romney to keep Romney off guard and on the defense in hopes of scoring a few hits that will wear Romney down.

Still, if you apply my father's rationale to the presidential campaign, Romney does have plenty of options. One such option would be the classic one-two; a powerful straight-in left jab to the solar plexus followed by a massive body blow, a right hook to the lower ribs.

I'm speaking figuratively here, by the way. I am not advocating that Romney or members of his campaign staff hit Emanuel. Really.

The shot to the solar plexus immediately shoots excruciating pain throughout the body, causing an involuntary reflex including holding one's breath, that then makes the ribs a tempting target because they temporarily lose their flexibility and either break outright or at least will be seriously bruised when hit by the right hook. You keep this up at regular intervals and around the third or fourth hit the ribs will break and by that time your opponent is flinching every time you even look like you're going launch a body shot.

Then, in mid-October you do it one more time; a straight powerful jab to the solar plexus, followed by a crasheous right hook. This time you'll notice that your opponent automatically drops his elbow to protect his broken ribs and you take that opportunity to bring your hook up and hit him right on the jaw, so hard that his head spins nearly off his neck and he ends up looking out his own ear hole, as John Madden used to say.

Now, as I pointed out above, we are talking figuratively here. So, figuratively, in a political campaign what would constitute a good, solid, pain-inducing jab to the solar plexus?

Well, the Romney campaign could have one of the GOP Super PACs do a commercial questioning Obama's real relationship with urban terrorist Bill Ayers and his wife Bernadine Dohrn, formerly of the Weather Underground.

Barack Obama friend Bill Ayers after becoming a respected member of the Chicago Democratic establishment.

That was the anti-government gang that built bombs and blew up people – including their friends - and buildings to protest killing and violence back in the 70s.

Ayers and Dohrn went underground to avoid prosecution and when they resurfaced they managed to avoid serious jail time or civil punishment. Then they went on to become respected members of the establishment they once claimed to hate, living in upper-crust neighborhoods and counting among their friends Michelle and Barack Hussein Obama.

Internet sites say that the Obama's became friends with Ayers and Dohrn well after the days of the Weather Underground were behind them, but who knows? There is so much mystery surrounding Obama's early years that we can't say for certain that he wasn't in on their terrorist activities - perhaps just tacitly - but who knows?

That would work very well as a jab to the solar plexus and it could very easily be followed by other ads with photos of the President in his younger, pot-smoking days, with questions about whether his brain has suffered permanent damage.

This is only a cigarette, according to the Internet.

I mean, the guy's questions about Romney's days at Bain Capital show that Obama just can't wrap his mind around business activities at all, so why not raise that question along with photos and statements from his pothead friends?

That should give us a good template from which to work effectively. The alternative, as I have written before is to try and play by the Marquis of Queensbury rules, which in this type of fight can have only one outcome: the Big Guy will be on the ground the day after Election Day, writhing in pain and moaning "You fight dirty."

Above him, Barack Hussein Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, will be laughing derisively and responding, "Yeah, I do. And I won."

And in that case Mr. Governor, American will truly be doomed.

One of the stupidest themes now being fought out on the presidential campaign trail is a demand from President Barack Hussein Obama that Mitt Romney release not only personal tax records from past years, but also minutes of meetings from Bain Capital, a private equity corporation that Romney ran decades ago.

I say this is stupid first because none of it has anything to do with the real issues now facing America, and also because in truth the Obama campaign is on a fishing expedition. Obama already knows that having been in both the public and private sectors for decades, including serving as Governor of Massachusetts, there is very little about Romney that hasn't been gone over previously – with a fine-toothed comb.

So Obama knows there is no smoking gun that will reveal some dark, heinous secret about Romney. Obama is desperately hoping that he can divert voters' attention from his failed economic policies, domestic policies, deplorable foreign policy record, and the fact that unemployment keeps climbing no matter how much his administration cooks Obama's books.

In fact, Obama still has plenty to explain about himself, starting with a lawsuit filed in federal court questioning why he has a Social Security number with a Connecticut prefix.

Obama obviously is hoping that Romney will tell Obama to stuff it, and then the Obama operatives will yell "AAAAAHHHAAAAA! WE TOLD YOU!! ROMNEY WON'T SHOW US HIS MEETING MINUTES AND TAX RETURNS! HE MUST BE HIDING SOMETHING. WE TOLD YOU!!! WE TOLD YOU!!! WE TOLD YOU!!!

In fact, that pretty much happened today when Obama refused to apologize for one of his stooges claiming that Romney is a felon for supposedly lying on federal elections documents, which obviously didn't happen or the mainstream media would be peeing on his political grave as we speak. Obama didn't answer the real question in the issue, that being whether it is appropriate for a campaign operative to deliberately lie, as is happening with increasing regularity in the Obama campaign.

Instead, he went off on the appropriateness of questioning Romney's background. OK, Mr. President, you show us yours first.

More to the point, Obama has one hell of a nerve to demand anything of Romney when in fact we know so little about Obama. Romney, rather than wasting time demanding apologies or explaining ad nauseam that he was running the Olympic Games during the period that Obama says he was still calling the shots at Bain Capital, should be demanding that Obama tells us more about his personal history.

For instance I read just last week that Obama is being challenged in federal court to explain why he has a Social Security Number that was issued in Connecticut but there is nothing official that he ever lived here! Seriously.

A news item that apparently didn't get very much circulation said a private investigator who is running as a presidential candidate in Ohio recently filed a federal lawsuit against Obama, challenging his eligibility and alleging that one of his Social Security numbers starts with 04.

Social Security numbers have a three-digit prefix that tells an informed person where the card was issued, by state. Numbers with a three-digit prefix from 040 to 049 are issued to people living in Connecticut at the time they apply for Social Security. (Oh, I read that the Obama Administration is ending that policy so in the future you won't be able to track a person's background by the prefix on their SSN!)

Of the very little we know of Obama, and of all the questions that have been raised about the phony birth certificate he posted on the White House web site – anyone who knows how to use the zoom control on their computer can see in about four clicks that the document on the White House website is fake – the one thing we have never heard is that he ever lived in Connecticut at any time in his murky past.

So how did he get a Social Security number with an 04 prefix? Good question. Actually, there is some evidence that he has another SSN with a Michigan prefix! During his college years Obama supposedly lived both in California and New York City, yet we are to believe that for some fleeting moment he stopped off in either Connecticut or Michigan and decided to get himself a couple of Social Security cards?

Here, from Wikipedia: Obama attended Punahou School from the 5th grade until his graduation in 1979. … Upon finishing high school, Obama moved to Los Angeles, where he enrolled at Occidental College, where he describes living a "party" lifestyle of drug and alcohol use. After two years at Occidental, he transferred to Columbia College at Columbia University, in Manhattan, New York City, where he majored in political science. Upon graduation, he worked for a year in business. He then moved to Chicago, working for a non-profit doing community organizing in the Altgeld Gardens housing project on the city's South Side.

If he was working in business in New York, he should have had a Social Security card and presumably it would have had a Hawaii or California prefix. Or, assuming he never registered prior to graduation from college, he would have to have a New York issued SSN. Wouldn't he?

Here are a couple of other issues that Obama and the media don't want to talk about from the website Western Journalism: Recently, it was discovered that Obama’s Selective Service card may have been doctored; there are questions about how he paid for his Harvard Law School education since, no one has produced any evidence that he received student loans. Obama will not release any student loan details despite repeated requests from the Chicago Tribune; However, it appears that his Harvard education may have been paid for by a foreign source. Khalid Al-Mansour, an advisor to Saudi prince Al-Walid bin Talah, told Manhattan Borough president, Percy Sutton, that he was raising money for Obama’s Harvard tuition. Incidentally, Prince Tala is the largest donor to CAIR, a Muslim group declared by the U.S. Government in 2007 as an unindicted co-conspirator in a terrorist financing trial.

So, it would appear that there is far more to be known about Barack Hussein Obama than there is about Mitt Romney. I have no problem whatsoever with political candidates being open and transparent, but in this case, it is Obama who espouses transparency – for everyone but himself it seems.

So what about it Mr. President? Romney already has shown us his, are you going to show us yours?

In what has to be the most fatuous, ego-driven fraud perpetrated on the public since Orson Welles' War of the Worlds broadcast in 1938, a group of scientists announced this week that it has found the Higgs boson particle, thereby opening the door to solving all the mysteries of the universe.

Well, OK, the scientists didn't actually find it, but after spending untold billions of dollars to build and operate particle accelerators to smash miniscule items into each other, they say they have found "evidence" of the particle … therefore it exists. As a result, they can now apply for a Nobel Prize in science and get rich selling ever-so-exciting documentaries on their "discovery."

(Yes I know that particle accelerators have useful purposes too, in medical research and cancer treatment for instance. But that isn't what they were used for in this case.)

Before we get too far down the line, despite the scientific assertions this week, the Higgs boson still is a hypothetical particle of matter. From Wikipedia: The Higgs boson is also called the God particle, after the title of Nobel physicist Leon Lederman's The God Particle: If the Universe Is the Answer, What Is the Question? which contained the author’s assertion that the discovery of the particle is crucial to a final understanding of the structure of matter. The existence of the Higgs boson was predicted in 1964 to explain the Higgs mechanism—the mechanism by which elementary particles are given mass.

In other news researchers have emerged from the deep woods of the Pacific Northwest with the stunning revelation that they have discovered the elusive creature "Bigfoot!" Well, they didn't actually discover the creature but they said they have found footprints and feces that are "evidence" Bigfoot exists. Therefore it exists.

In other, other news, a group of frost-bitten researchers in the Himalayas has emerged from the frozen mountains claiming to have discovered the elusive Yeti, also known as the Abominable Snowman. Well, those researchers didn't actually discover it but they have photos of its footprints and they too have feces, which apparently is the key to proving "discoveries" of this nature.

In other, other, other news I personally have discovered the elusive Tachyon. More on that in a minute.

For those of you who have been blissfully unaware of all this fuss a little history may be in order. Back in the early part of the last century a man named Albert Einstein – you may have heard of him – spent an inordinate amount of time doing math and postulating on why things are the way they are. From all this math and postulating came his famous Theory of Relativity that says Energy is equal to an object's Mass times the speed of light squared.

He already had at his disposal Isaac Newton's Law of Universal Gravitation which says that all mass in the universe attracts all other mass with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.

These theories proved very useful in determining a lot of previously unknown data both on this planet and in outer space. No one seriously questioned them because they didn't really matter in our day-to-day world, and very few other people wanted to spend that much time doing math.

But then in the latter part of the last century a guy named Hubble built an ultra-modern telescope that was launched into space where it started taking pictures and collecting massive amounts of data on of all kinds of extra-terrestrial things. Much of what we have learned from the Hubble comes from images created by focusing on the various frequencies in the light spectrum.

Meanwhile, super computers have been analyzing the gazillions of bits of information on the gazillions of galaxies, stars and planets that have been found thanks to the Hubble's capabilities. Unfortunately, as we learned more and more about the universe, scientists discovered that by using what we thought we knew about gravity and mass and relativity we should have been able to compute the mass of huge groups of objects like galaxies – but the numbers didn't add up.

There appeared to be significantly more mass – now referred to as Dark Matter – in the universe than could be seen, even by the most advanced measuring devices known to modern science.

But our intrepid band of researchers was not deterred and in conjunction with large universities often funded by tax dollars, as well as research labs also funded in part by tax dollars, started doing all kinds of calculations. In their view these calculations would not only solve the mystery of dark matter but would prove the existence of multiple dimensions – as many as 11 some say – which is in my opinion pure nonsense.

Decades of gut-wrenching, hand-wringing failures prompted a massive search for the Higgs boson particle using particle accelerators to put a smack down on increasingly smaller particles – way below the size of atoms – to see what dropped out after each collision. Ultimately they figured they'd find the Higgs boson and all would be well in the universe.

Billions upon billions of dollars later they have what they call "evidence" but still no Higgs boson. The result this week was an intergalactic Cover Your Ass moment to justify these gross expenditures. Despite the assertions, the scientists really haven't found the Higgs boson any more than Bigfoot or the Yeti have been found. Or the Tachyon.

The Tachyon, like the Higgs boson, is a hypothetical particle that travels faster than the speed of light. Its existence was first postulated by the noted scientist Eric Cartman of South Park U who was working off philosophical speculation from Rene Descartes who stated back in the 17th century something akin to I Think, Therefore I Am.

Cartman, taking that hypothesis a step further postulated I Think, Therefore I Am … I Think. This is now known throughout the scientific community as the Tachyon Hypothesis.

Since the Tachyon moves so fast no one has seen it; in fact Einstein would say it can't exist because nothing can travel faster than light. How could he possibly know that? Thought travels faster than light and transcends distance, at least in my opinion.

Nonetheless, I have discovered evidence that the Tachyon exists. Last night I took my sky-gazing telescope out just after sundown, with the intent of looking at some planets, and just over the horizon, just behind our sun, I saw skid marks way out in the solar system.

Now the only thing that could make skid marks like that in the vast emptiness of space is a Tachyon. I figure it must have some sort of intelligence associated with it because I hypothesize that it was headed straight for our Sun but put on the brakes and hung a hard left – hence the skid marks and my "evidence."

The skid marks are gone now but I did see them … so could someone put me in for a Nobel Prize too?

It seems to me that all the money that went into the search for a hypothetical particle that may or may not solve these math problems could have been put to a better use, considering the state of the real world – wars, climate change, pestilence, intolerance, food and water shortages for instance.

You know what really would have been helpful? The scientists could have developed a methodology that could teach any cashier in any fast food outlet that when a customer's bill comes out to say $16.23, and the customer hands the cashier $21.23, the cashier immediately hands back a $5 bill without the blank uncomprehending stare. This frees the customer from pockets full of unwanted coins and a wallet full of $1 bills.

A lot of commentators noted this week that even if or when the Higgs boson particle is really found it won't have much impact on humanity. But a fast food cashier who understands the relationship between seemingly random numbers? That would be an accomplishment!