OK, so if you are keeping score on the things that we can't talk about or discuss with Barack Obama, the shadowy, mysterious guy who would be our president, we now have to add to the list his wife Michelle who can say anything she wants about our country, but you better not call her on it.

The Obamas appeared on a network television show yesterday morning and he got all manly and macho, telling the GOP they better not mess with his woman. This was in response to an ad run by the Tennessee Republican party in which a couple of guys, one playing pool with an arsenal of firearms on the wall behind him, said they are proud to be red-blooded Americans. (Yeah, I know. But this isn't about the commercial.)

The commercial was in response to a remark made by Michelle Obama on the campaign trail a couple months back when she said that this is the first time in her adult life that she has been proud of her country.

Mr. Obama, as opposed to Mrs. Obama, said yesterday that the GOP is only running sound bites and snippets of her remarks to give a false impression of her comments. To be polite this represents a significant drift from reality, since it is likely that most Americans have seen her comments in their entirety in one form or another either on the news or the Internet, and she said what she said.

Nonetheless, Mr. O made it clear that nobody better say anything about his wife regardless of what she says or does. He didn't say what would happen if someone takes his wife to task on this or other issues, but it was clear that ignoring this warning will incur the wrath of Obama, whatever that might be.

Why didn't he just quietly sit down with her outside the sight and hearing of the campaign workers and media and say "Hon, we all have issues and I understand that. But if you really expect to be the First Lady of the United States of America, it would be helpful if the voters think you actually love your country."

But that apparently is not the Obama way. That would have been a modern, reasonable, forward thinking response. Instead, he goes all retro on us and stands between his wife and the world, giving the obvious impression that she isn't capable of thinking for herself, and certainly not defending herself.

And this isn't the only incident that gives us a glimpse into his true personality. Consider, that just last week when a female news reporter covering his campaign asked him a question he called her "Sweetie" and put her off.

Put these two incidents together and you get an image of Barack Obama that is NOT a strong, capable, quiet macho man, but rather an insecure, arrogant womanizer.

He comes across as the Eric Cartman of the Democratic Party. For those of you who aren't familiar with Eric Cartman, he is a foul-mouthed elementary school-aged character on the South Park animated comedy show.

Cartman's mother waits on him hand and foot, spoiling him to the point that he thinks the world owes him everything. He is overweight from eating junk food - especially "Cheesy Poofs" - and watching TV instead of exercising. Sometimes he even eats chocolate covered Cheesy Poofs and when someone calls him fat, he responds "I'm not fat, I'm just big boned."

Classic denial.

Cartman is continually scheming to get everything that everyone else has for himself, and weaves incredibly complicated webs to convince those around him that when he wants what they have, they should feel guilty and he should have it.

But it is Cartman's attitude toward women that reminds me of Obama. Take these Cartman comments for instance:

"If some sissy chick tried to kick my ass I would say, Hey, Missy! Go knit me a sweater before I slap you in the face!"


"I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your ... ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"

Now, to be fair, the self-ordained Democratic nominee didn't go that far, but what exactly is the translation in Obama-speak, when he responds to a legitimate question from a female reporter that he doesn't want to answer by calling her "Sweetie."

Reporter Peggy Agar, of WXYZ television in Michigan, asked Obama while he toured a Chrysler plant in Detroit what he would do to help American auto workers.

Obama said: "Hold on one second, sweetie" and did not answer. News reports said he later left a phone message for the reporter saying it was a "bad habit" and he "meant no disrespect."

It was the second time Obama had been caught using the 'S' word. He also used it referring to a factory worker in Pennsylvania in April.

I see.

The reporter didn't push the sexism issue, although if I were in the Hillary Clinton camp I certainly would recommend it. She (the reporter) merely responded, "People in Michigan have to make a decision about who they're going to vote for ... [Obama] could take a second to say what he's going to do for them."

Works for her I guess.

So, let's recap here. We can't talk about Obama's race, his white heritage, his black heritage, his Muslim relatives, his ears, his middle name (Hussein), his religion, his pastor - the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, his friendship with communist terrorists who spent the 60s and 70s trying to blow up and overthrow the country he wants to lead, his association with racketeers, his land deals, his house, his adjacent lawn, and certainly, unquestionably, no kidding around about this, his wife.

What does this leave us to talk about?

Maybe he can get a female reporter and a female factory worker to sit down with him and work up a list of acceptable subject areas. He can have them sitting around the kitchen table kneading pie dough for a campaign-quality photo op.

The caption could have him telling them "When you are done with the Pie, get me some Cheesy Poofs too! Sweetie!"

Female reporters might not think anything about it, but I bet the female factory worker could use another Cartman line for the appropriate response.

"Screw you guys, I'm going home."