Friday, September 01, 2006

Hezbollah, Hobbits and Green Beans

Here we go again. The Mouth That Roared, money launderer, supplier and spiritual leader for the terrorist group Hezbollah, isn't satisfied with just ignoring an Untied Nations mandate to stop developing nuclear weapons.

No way, not our guy Green Bean Almandine, leader of the Country Formerly Known As Persia. The never quiet president of Iran took his usual position Thursday, in front of a bank of microphones with the World Terrorist Media dutifully and breathlessly in attendance, hanging on every pearl draped word, to tell the rest of the human race to "bite me."

Well, he didn't say it quite that way but the translation while not literal, is nonetheless in the ballpark. His commentary was along the lines of "develop nuclear weapons, to obliterate Israel for practice before I take on Europe and then the US? Me? Why I would never do a thing like that! I'm just a regular guy from a once great empire trying to give my adoring subjects a little extra electricity so they can up their air conditioning from wall units to central." Really, that's what he said.

According to the interpreter, he also said something about the "nasty western nations and their dirty little conspiracies."

I watched that part on TV and I swear I thought I was watching one of the Lord of the Rings movies. Remember the one where Gollum is off in the woods by himself, talking to his alter ego, and calls Sam and Frodo "dirty little HOBBITSES?!" Yeah, just like that.

Oh, and while we're on the subject do yourself a favor and stop by and take a look at the photo of Green Bean that blogger Pamela has posted. I mean what a great shot. If this guy doesn't look exactly like the stereotypical mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, low browed, bottom-feeding Neanderthal!

But all joking aside, it is high time for US, and by that I mean the United States, to put an end to this nonsense. I bust on Green Bean because, well, because he is Green Bean and I can. But make no mistake about it, this guy is dangerous.

He has some kind of a Napoleon complex, he doesn't care what the UN says, the Russians and the Chinese are only too willing to let him keep working on nuclear weapons because they apparently think that if he starts a war with us, we will finish it and him, and when dealing with a weakened United States they will be the ultimate victors.

Let me tell you, and by you I mean the folks from China and Russia who read this column, something about guys like Green Bean. He isn't your friend, he doesn't see himself as your lackey, he doesn't trust you as far as he could throw a grand piano, and if he is successful in pushing his nuclear agenda on the handwringers in Europe and the UN, believe me, you are next!

Someone should take RasPutin aside when he is out walking the streets of Moscow and whisper one word in his ear. "Chechnya." You think you have troubles there, multiply that by whatever exponent is convenient if Green Bean gets his bomb. Same goes for China. That uprising you put guys put down when the last Pacific storm hit you a couple of weeks ago will be nothing compared to what he shoots over your way.

Green Bean is a man who has high aspirations and unfortunately they don't have anything to do with peaceful coexistence. He is the next Hitler in the making, and he is using the same tactics, oddly enough under some of the same circumstances as Germany in the 1930s.

How do you deal with unemployment, rampant inflation, political unrest, and your own inherent inabilities to deal with these problems successfully? Blame the Jews. Then convince your captive audience that if you just eliminate them, and a few hundred million of their backers in the process, you will finally realize the Garden of Eden in your own backyard and in your own lifetime.

Fortunately this is the age of communication as well as transportation and technology, and his ridiculous claims can be offset by using the same tactics he is using. Hitler was successful in large part because he controlled the media and spread his message through propaganda.

Green Bean, as well as many of his fellow Islamo-terrorists, is doing the same thing with the willing assistance of the WTM. Those who back him obviously don't see that they are being used too, and as soon as he is done with them, they will get the same alternatives as everyone else -- submit, convert, or die.

But every day that goes by is a day he gets closer to having a nuclear bomb. And if he gets it, he will use it as leverage, threatening all the while to use it. But here is where Green Bean is different from many other nut jobs who came to power during the course of human history.

He really believes that there is a better world waiting for him after death, especially if that death comes while he is killing non-Muslims, or for that matter, even Muslims who don't embrace his extremist views. This means that if he tries to blackmail the rest of the world with a nuclear weapon and the world plays brinksmanship, he will not blink.

He will push the button, launch the missiles and embark on an all-out nuclear war. In this manner he is different, more unpredictable in a predictable sort of way, and far more dangerous than any of the leaders of other movements, including communism, that the world has faced in previous centuries.

Don't underestimate this guy, and don't rule out a military option. I am well aware that a huge percentage of the Iranian population doesn't believe in him, doesn't like him and would prefer that someone far more stable than he is be in charge of their country. I wouldn't want to see any of them hurt. But that is not reality.

Green Bean is reality. If he will arm, train and supply Hezbollah, he will most certainly launch nuclear weapons. And if the Russians and Chinese don't believe this, I would invite them to take a close look at maps of their region. Iran is far closer to them than to us, and he is not restricted by any code of honor in whom he uses for practice.

This is a time and place where I do NOT want to say "I told you so."


Anonymous said...

He has some kind of a Napoleon complex, he doesn't care what the UN says

Pot meet kettle:

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