Nancy Pelosi and Charlie Rangel, Democratic congresspeople, jumped up in defense of President George Bush and went on the attack against Huey Chavez Thursday after Chavez made a fool of himself at the Untied Nations by calling President Bush the devil among other things.

Be still my beating heart. Can I believe this? Two of the most atrocious Bush bashers in the US Congress suddenly find a streak of patriotism and stand up for the good ol' US of A, and the president all at once!?

Sorry. I'm not buying it. This is an election year, we are six weeks out from Election Day, the polls are going against them despite near frantic efforts by the American Terrorist Media (ATM) and there is no way I am won over by their sudden urge to hold hands, sit in a circle, touch toes and sing We Shall Overcome or Kumbayah.

This is a not so subtle effort to make America temporarily feel a sense of oneness, a sense of unity, a sense of Us Against the World and it did not work. Temporary as in, until just after Election Day. Maybe if they also weren't saying, "Hey, Huey, we can kick the Republicans all we want, and especially Bush, but you have to stand in line!"

Yeah, wait your turn Huey! Bush bashing is a mostly American pastime, and you'll just have to stand by until all the Americans are done.

Maybe if they hadn't just spent the last eon bashing the daylights out of Bush and anyone who works with or for him, they might have been more believable. Maybe, just maybe we could have believed that they really meant it if they hadn't been on the Personal Attacks Defines Politics bandwagon. But you can't undo eight years of open hostility in one day. Nope. Not buying it.

Pelosi wasn't even all that aggressive in her statements, and Rangel went on to thank Chavez for providing low-cost heating oil to the residents of Harlem. So it wasn't all that convincing.

Besides, if Chavez wanted to really impress Americans, he would have made low-cost heating oil and low-cost gasoline, say, along the lines of a quarter per gallon, available to all of us! I may be a country boy from the farm belt, and yes I do know how to cut, split, stack and burn my own cordwood to take the edge off the winter heating costs, but one five-hundred gallon tank full of heating oil sure would have made my winter easier to bear.

Yeah, Chavez baby, want to impress the mainstream of the good old US of A? Drop the bottom right out of the gas prices. You were waving that book around about communist economics when you were up at the Untied Nations podium, gagging from the stench of sulfur. Do what it says. Give everything away. Abolish wages, abolish prices, just do what needs to be done for free because it is the right thing to do.

Like giving me all the gas I need this year for free, shipping and handling included! Do that and you will capture the attention of all Americans, who will be only to happy to take your gas and then laugh their rear ends off as they watch your country sink into a morass of international debt and local chaos.

Actually, that's not such a bad idea now that I think of it. But other than a full-fledged giveaway, anything else just smacks of manipulation.

So, Huey, Dewey and Lewey, thanks but no thanks. Love to. But Can't. Buy into this nonsense that is.

Oh yeah, once again, abolish the Untied Nations. That place is a bad joke and it is smelling up New York. Get rid of that eyesore and those drunken freeloaders. Let Donald Trump build something. At least it will be a revenue producer instead of a money pit and an eyesore.