Thursday, February 21, 2008

That's It! I'm Backing John McCain - aka Senator "Stud"

So if I get the New York Times and all its insinuations and innuendos correct, John McCain, who now is 71, and married to an absolutely gorgeous woman who certainly will do the United States proud if she becomes First Lady, also has enough - er, uh, manliness - to carry on with a beautiful lobbyist on the side!

Wow! The Republican Party finally has something to crow about!

Yeah baby! That McCain, he's my guy! Somebody get me a McCain T-shirt will you? A nice photo of the presidential hopeful on the front flanked by two beautiful women will do nicely.

We'll have to work on a slogan. At the moment I am just in total awe about this guy. This is so cool! I bet the New York Times never figured McCain would become a sex symbol after it slandered him!

The basis of the story that I wrote about earlier today, along with everyone else in the world, says that McCain's aides were worried about his 'relationship' with a beautiful lobbyist - female, just to keep the record straight - so to speak - back in 1999 and 2000 when he was first seeking the GOP nomination to run for president.

That is eight years ago - WHEN HE WAS 63! Way to go Senator McCain YOU DA MAN!

I have thought for decades that this stuff was limited only to Democrats, and frankly it always bothered me a bit. I mean, I am proud to be a Republican and all, but does membership in the Republican Party always have to be about "Issues?"

Finally we have a candidate who not only can turn a woman's head; he apparently can turn several at once.

McCain is now the living embodiment of every heterosexual male's most exotic fantasy. Whew! After all that, getting elected president is going to seem - dare I say it? - Yes, ANTI-CLIMATIC!

Whooo-hooooo. You go guy!

Do you know why we keep getting these situations erupting, so to speak, in our highest levels of politics? TESTOSTERONE!

That's it. The stuff that makes a man a man and the more of it the better!

Some scientists believe that way, way, way back, humans tended to band together for protection and males were expected to have more than one mate to continue building the species. Meanwhile females were expected to have limited numbers of mates, to be sure they were selective and mated only with the most likely to thrive.

That meant only the strongest, fastest and smartest males got to mate with the females. Well, here we are, hundreds of millennia later, and occasionally those old time feelings surface in the middle of a floor debate on telecommunications regulations.

I always thought that liberal Democrats were hiding their true cravings and just acting like they were OOOHHHH so sensitive around women, so conservative males wouldn't catch on to their little game.

Obviously, Senator McCain was keeping a close eye on the competition when he was reaching across the aisle. This puts his actions in Congress in an entirely different light.

OK, I am kidding and I know this bothers the senator and his family and I am not making light of the impact it has on them. But still, if you have to deal with this kind of nonsense in the middle of a presidential campaign, you may as well make the most of it.

Finally, a shot of humanity has been injected into this interminable primary race!

Bill Clinton, eat your heart out! Gary Hart, go sit in your rocking chair. Hugh Hefner, you are hereby demoted to Used To Be!

Republicans have John McCain and tomorrow I want every Republican male in the country to stand up, strut your stuff, and holler from the rooftops - I'm a John McCain Republican and I am HOT!

Now, where's that T-shirt. Come on, will you? Hurry up with that slogan. I want to finish it tonight so I can wear it to the senior center in the morning!


TOP said...

Thanks Ron.
Here all this time I thought when you were issued your membership card from the GOP you automatically were pronounced with E.D.
You've given me hope beyond Viagra.

TOP said...

Thanks Ron.
Here all this time I thought when you were issued your membership card from the GOP you automatically were pronounced with E.D.
You've given me hope beyond Viagra.

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